The Twist

Guru one. Sri Kumaré  is a revered yoga master whose ancestors can be traced directly to the Indo-Aryan civilization of Mohenjo-daro and Harappa. He spent over a decade studying yogic science with masters of the Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, and other esoteric traditions. The Kumaré tradition’s main objective is to achieve personal transformation through “Action — not just theory.” Kumaré teaches any and all people how to find their Guru within themselves. Sounds great, doesn’t it? He teaches how to find the inner guide. His film Kumaré, about his journey to enlightenment, is a true guide to the true inner guide.

Guru two. Deepak Chopra is the invisible in the midst of cosmic human observation. An Indian-born American physician he is the son of Krishan Chopra, a prominent Indian cardiologist. Inspired by his father and the novel Arrowsmith Chopra initially becomes a physician but suddenly gets enlightened when he meets Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. From then on he begins teaching about the heart as the ground of descriptions of facts. He also revived the ancient Indian teachings of the existence and the wisdom of precious reality. His latest book  The True Ingredients to Subjective Positivity is also a true guide to the true inner guide.

The difference. The true name of guru one is Vikram Gandhi. His Indian accent as Sri Kumaré is as fake as everything else about him. Gandhi is a filmmaker from New Jersey who undertakes an experiment. He sets out to test if he would be able to fascinate people pretending to be a guru. The whole experiment is filmed from the beginning of gathering followers to the end, with Gandhi unveiling the truth about himself. Underway he realizes that people trust him so much that he wouldn’t be able to just bail out with a lame excuse. He feels responsible.  So he invents the true teaching of the false guru: “I am fake and you have to find the true guru inside yourself.” Or in his pseudo-indian accent, “you can find yoga center inside.” Everybody believes him but only when he shaves and sheds his accent his disciples realize that his teaching is about reality.

The true name of guru two is Deepak Chopra. His accent is as true as everything else about him. He is not a filmmaker, but he is as true as a new-age guru can get. He is also conducting an experiment; but unlike Vikram Gandhi up until now he told nobody about it. His experiment is principally the same as the one of Gandhi: Putting nothing in boxes and selling it. His twist on the experiment is the question, how much money one can really make by selling nothing? So far, it is a huge success. Deepak Chopra is the wealthiest and most famous of America’s alternative quantum practitioners. Deepak has proved that in capitalism it is not only possible to get rich selling crap, but that it is also possible to get rich by selling nothing at all. Deepak didn’t return calls about  when he is to unveil the end of his experiment and to what charity he is to donate his huge fortune.

The twist.  Guru one is, of course, a true guru. Guru two is a false guru (this is because a false guru becomes a true guru only when he admits being a false guru). The true guru has roughly 700 twitter followers, the false guru roughly 1.3 million (that is second only to the one other guru). The false guru generally gathers more disciples because they  believe in the false guru only as long as he pretends to be true. This paradox is called – in the words of Deepak Chopra – the conundrum of the existential causal essence of the quintessential quantum quorum. Now, the true guru, the one who admitted to being false, turns for help to the false guru, the one pretending to be true. The false one, the one with the 1.3 twitter foolowers, helps the true one sell nothing – that is, the film about how successful selling nothing can be.

The question. Is the false one about to unveil his experiment? Will Deepak Chopra finally come out and admit: “All I ever said  is bullshit! It is all about putting your money  in my pocket. You know the hidden meaning illuminates an abundance of abstract beauty when you look at it with the eyes of Kumaré. It is clear that the secret of the universe nurtures positive choices. Kumaré is just this. Believe him, see his film and learn that the true guru is you. Elephants are birds.”

Or is it the other way around? Is the true one not really true? Is Sri Kumaré a false guru pretending to be a true one by pretending that he is a false one and is he taking advantage of the true false guru? Remember: information is inside external reality.

Or is it that both, the possibly false true one and the true false one, are providing a lesson for us about reality?

Further questions. What is with the other gurus? For example the one with roughly 6 million twitter fools? He loves to say “I am just an ordinary guy!” Is he true or false? Is he pretending to be normal–“a simple, ordinary monk”–because he is extraordinary? Is he extraordinary because he pretends to be normal? And how about us: Are we extraordinary because we are the only normal guys among all the extraordinary ones? And if so, are we true or false?


Remarks and sources. You can find information about Sri Kumaré, his lineage, teachings, workshops and assorted materials like mantras, music and further magic on his homepage. Information about the true film Kumaré can be found here. Actual quotes by Deepak Chopra and further inspiration for this text have been taken from this site (which is of great value for finding the true depths of his teachings).

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